For submissive men, there is no greater honor than praise from their Mistress for serving her well. They thrive on their ability to please her every desire and whim, and they spend their entire lives striving to become the perfect servant, even when doing so involves pain, discipline, humiliation or other unpleasant experiences. For these men, none of that matters. Their only concern is their Mistress's fulfillment. But why do submissive men feel this way, and what drives them to want to serve so deeply and fully that they no longer consider their own desires in the process?
Most submissive men who choose to become slaves do so because they have deep seeded desires to be free of responsibility and control of their own lives. Most submissive men find that allowing someone else to control their physical and emotional desires to actually be preferable. To outsiders it may seem that the slave's lack of control of his own situation is stifling, but for these men this is the ultimate goal. They want nothing more than to blissfully walk through life without having to make the tough decisions that can leave people riddled with stress. Being a slave may involve other forms of psychological or physical pain, but the slave will never have to do anything more than obey their Mistress, and for these men, this is ideal. And many slaves, in other areas of their lives, hold much responsibility, and they enjoy coming home to their Mistress where they can focus only on her wishes and not the pressures of the outside world.
Many slaves also worship Women, consider them more powerful, and desire their praise. This desire can stem from adulthood when the men discover they want to please the woman they're with completely. Most men on some level want to be the best possible man for their wives and girlfriends, but for slaves, this desire is stronger. They are willing to do everything asked of them to gain the approval and praise of their Mistress, and they enjoy groveling at her feet and worshipping her completely as the more powerful gender. Many submissive men also enjoy letting the Women be in command.
Finally, many submissive men actually desire and crave the discipline and punishment that comes with being a slave. They may feel ashamed of their sexual or psychological desires to be controlled, and the punishment enforced by their Mistresses help them to cope. For others, they want to please the woman in their lives so deeply and fully that they appreciate the correctional behavior received because without it they feel unworthy or they feel that they have not fulfilled their duties in pleasing the woman. By allowing the Mistress to dominate and make clear when they have pleased her and when they let her down, the slave knows exactly what his Mistress wants, and he learns how to become a better partner.
In any Mistress/slave relationship, the man takes on the role of slave willingly, knowing that physical, emotional, and any desires he has will be controlled. But he does so anyway because this control feeds right into his nature, and allows him to live in a trusting, loving, safe, and comfortable environment.
The term covers a broad range of activities between consenting adults. BDSM itself is regarded as standing for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Within BDSM there are those who are called Tops Or Dominants and there are those that are called bottoms or submissive. People that can change between the roles are called, Switches.
BDSM includes a wide range of interpersonal relationships, subcultures and activities. Often for the outsider it is hard to understand the BDSM life style. Within the BDSM relationship the bottom surrenders mental and/or physical control to the Top. The level of surrender will vary in every relationship or scene.
Often a long term BDSM relationship is known as a power exchange relationship. Just what level of power exchange is often formed over time through consensual verbal or contractual agreement.
The very foundation of BDSM is that it requires that it must be carried out by responsible adult partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way. It is these principles that have been the basis of the motto, "Safe, sane and consensual". The consenting partner always has the right to withdraw their consent, often by use of a safeword. The safe word should be understood and agreed upon in advance.
There are three basic aspects of BDSM
Bondage & Discipline (B&D)
Dominance & Submission (D&S)
Sadism & Masochism (or Sadomasochism) (S&M)
Why Some Women Like To Train A Man As A Slave
It seems like the ideal fantasy of every woman doesn’t it, having a slave that attends to her every whim and desire both domestically and emotionally. Every woman has dreamed of making over the man in her life into the perfect companion that does exactly what she wants at all times. Yet few women ever turn this fantasy into reality, and most would laugh at the suggestion, thinking it the stuff of movies and books. But in the BDSM lifestyle, there are many women that do make men into their slaves. These women, Dommes, not only find that their every need is met, but that having a slave is actually a very fulfilling, empowering experience.
The most obvious reason most women like training men to be slaves in BDSM is that their every need is met this way. They can have the slave do all the chores, pay all the bills and any other menial task they don't feel like doing themselves. And not only that do they demand that the slave completes these tasks, they demand that they get done exactly as asked, ensuring that the tasks get done right. This takes an enormous amount of pressure off the woman, and she can then spend her time doing things she enjoys more than chores. The woman can also extend these orders to get her more personal needs met, and many Dommes train their slaves to be the perfect lover in bed. Slaves are taught exactly what pleases the woman, and they will be trained to take care of her needs before they ever even become aroused themselves, making them the perfect partners in bed. Dommes love being able to have the perfect partner, and the training of the slave is all worth it when she is consistently satisfied in bed.
On a deeper level, many Dominant women find that they enjoy training slaves because it allows them to take what they feel is their rightful role in society. Many women (Dominant or not) feel that if women ran the show, the world would be a better place. Dommes take this literally and take their place at the top of the relationship. Many find that by having a man in a lowly servant position, their needs for power and control are met, and they feel more satisfied overall. These women also savor the experience of being the person in charge, and they enjoy putting a man through his paces both physically and emotionally while training him. Dominant women don’t like to hurt or cause pain to their slaves during training, but they enjoy the power that comes from knowing they can do whatever they want to this man in their lives. It can also be a good release for those that have experienced a loss of power in their lives at the hands of a man. But for most Dommes, they simply enjoy being in the controlling position and feeling fully empowered because this may be the only place in current society where they are this powerful.
Dominant woman love and cherish their slaves, and even though they may put them through some difficult and painful training, they care deeply about this man. They love and cherish him so much that they want him to become their perfect partner, and they want him to be able to take care of them as they see fit. Being a Domme requires a lot of responsibility, but the benefits of empowerment and satisfaction are well worth it.
What Are The Qualities That Make A Woman A Good Mistress?
There are a lot of misconceptions out there as to what makes a woman a good Mistress in BDSM. The casual observer would probably say a masochistic love of power or a hatred towards men that drives her to punish and control them, but that couldn’t possibly be farther from the truth. Mistresses are caring, loving women that take on a great deal of responsibility when they accept a slave into their lives. Yes, they must be Dominant and have the ability to lead, but there is a depth of complex qualities a woman must possess to make a phenomenal Mistress, one truly worthy of worship.
The Ability To Lead
For a Mistress to have someone that wants to follow her every command, obey her every wish, she must be worthy of the honor and must possess the innate quality of leadership. A good Mistress is the type of women that others look to for advice and guidance in everyday situations. She is often in control of any situation she is placed in, and others automatically look to her when they work together in a group. Good leadership comes from being observant, intuitive and able to make tough decisions. It also means having integrity and doing the right thing, even if the right thing is difficult.
Someone That Can Be Trusted
There is a lot of trust in a Mistress/Slave relationship, especially on the part of the slave. The slave gives up all of their rights and freedoms and hands them willingly to the Mistress. This is not easily done unless the slave feels they can truly trust the Mistress, trust them with their lives. This means that a Mistress must be not only trustworthy, but honest, open, dependable and true in not only their words, but their actions. When a Mistress shows that she does what she says, keeps her promises and never lies or deceives, their slaves are happier and more content, knowing they can trust their lives with this woman. It alleviates any fear or hesitation and allows the Mistress and slave relationship to flourish.
Observant And Compassionate
A Mistress must not only be trustworthy and keep her promises to make a slave feel secure, she must also be extremely observant and compassionate towards her slaves. Yes, she may need to punish them for disobedience or push them past their limits to get a powerful emotional response, but she does this out of a place of love. A great Mistress cares for the wellbeing of her slave and wants to see them thrive. The only way to do this may be to push them past their limit, and when this is done compassionately, it can open up a whole new world for the slave. A good Mistress is also observant, and realizes when that pushing is too much or isn’t being received in a cathartic way. It’s not just about punishing slaves, it’s about enabling them to live their best lives by giving them what they need. And a truly compassionate Mistress will make this happen through love (and a little bit of pain).